


Penetrating Questions

by The_Unoriginal_Sinner



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Finn asks poe a lot of questions, M/M, Pining Poe, Rated M for language, Slapstick, This is really dumb, and challenging themes, because, graphic depictions of stupidity, it make me laugh okay, physical comedy, ridiculous fool poe dameron, sometimes they're a bit challenging, thats the archive warning, this is one of those times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 17:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20568110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Unoriginal_Sinner/pseuds/The_Unoriginal_Sinner
Summary: ---“Cock!!” Poe uncovered his mouth and yelled much louder than he had intended. He tensed and looked around the unfortunately not empty hangar. The various occupants scattered about had frozen in their tracks and were staring fish eyed at Poe and Finn. “YEAH I SAID COCK.” Poe growled over his shoulder. That seemed to placate them, or at least confirm their suspicions that Poe Dameron was losing his nut. Or requesting to bust one.---





	Penetrating Questions

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever in my life post something of substance with emotion and meaning? Or will I just continue to post sTUPID DUMB SHIT LIKE THIS.
> 
> probably the latter. But at least you can rely on me to always come through with this dumb funny bullshit.

Poe took the care and maintenance of his x-wing very seriously. Black One was his baby, his identity, his ticket to the stars. So like most afternoons, he was spending the golden hours of the day shining her up and going over basic maintenance tweaks with BB-8. 

The sound of happy footsteps pulled Poe’s attention away from his task, and he looked up to watch Finn walking towards him. 

“Finn! Hey Buddy!” Poe beamed and his heart stuttered and swelled as it often did when Finn came to visit him.

“Hi Poe!” When he had reached his side, Finn put his hands on his hips and surveyed the work Poe was doing. “Need any help?”

“That would be great, I could use a second pair of hands since BB-8 only has brains.”

[more than you.] BB-8 trilled at him

“Hey watch it.” 

Finn’s laugh was bright and full-bodied. He still didn’t speak a word of binary but it was pretty easy to follow the banter between Poe and BB-8 when they argued.

Poe shook his head and knelt back down under the body of his X-Wing. 

“I’m just finishing a couple minor things down here and then you can help me clean her up.”

“Sounds good.” 

“Okay, can you hand me the wrench on the top right shelf over there?” Finn came to stand behind Poe where he was bending under the ship. He reached his arm around to show Poe the tool he had brought over.

“This one?”

“Yes perfect thank you.” Poe crouched even farther forward and then realized that a second set of hands was actually essential for this task. “Actually, Buddy I need your help down here.”

“No problem.” Always enthusiastic to lend his hands where needed, Finn shuffled up right behind Poe and bent over him. Finn huffed a breath over Poe’s neck and that short circuited his wires a little. Poe coughed and tried not to think about how they must look in this position. 

“Uh. So, I need you to hold this still while I tighten these.” Poe really tried hard not to focus on Finn’s body heat radiating into the entire backside of his body. Unfortunately, to reach what he needed to, Finn had to lean in further until his knees lightly bumped the back of Poe’s thighs and his ribs pressed into Poe’s back every time he took a breath. 

“Poe, I wanted to ask you a question actually.” Finn’s breath skated across Poe’s ear and made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. One of the most impressive things about Finn was how adaptable he is, and how quickly he learns. So much of life outside of the First Order was completely foreign to him, but Finn was picking it up like a natural. However, a lot of the social nuances were more difficult, and in those cases Finn would come to Poe. Poe had become a judgement free source of information for all of Finn’s social queries. Right this second didn’t seem like the ideal time for conversation, but Poe wanted to make sure Finn felt like he could come to him whenever with whatever. Even if that meant whispering questions into his ear while he had him bent over under an X-Wing.

“Sure thing buddy, what’s up?” Poe responded as he tightened the final screw. 

“What is an ‘Ass Slut?’” 

Whatever question Poe had been expecting ‘what is an ass slut’ was certainly nowhere on his list of guesses. The shock of such a vulgar query jolted through him violently. This meant that he first lurched back into Finn full ass to crotch, and then in a panic, shot straight up and smacked his head hard on the wing of Black One. 

“Oh fuck.” Poe held a hand to the back of his head and staggered away from the ship. 

“Yikes, Poe are you okay? What happened?” Finn reached out for him and held his shoulders gently. Poe excused himself from the physical contact as politely as possible. 

“Yeah I’m fine I think I just uh...got electrocuted a little bit.” Poe continued rubbing his sore head and put a little more distance between himself and Finn.

[I’m certainly shocked.] Oh great. BB-8 heard that. Poe crossed his arms uncomfortably and tilted his head at Finn.

“Where uhh...where did you hear that, buddy?” His voice came out a little more strained than he meant it to. Finn didn’t seem to notice and his tone was casual.

“From Jess and Snap. They said that you’re a ‘bit of an ass slut’ but I don’t know what that means.” 

All of the blood poured from Poe’s body out his ears and pooled on the floor around his feet. Not literally, but it felt like it. 

“Those. 

Mother. 

Fuckers.”

BB-8 was whirring and beeping wildly from where he sat, perched up in the X-Wing.

“What!?” Finn grew distressed by their contrasting reactions. “Is, is he laughing?” 

Poe rubbed a hand across his face and dragged his palm over his rough stubble. 

“Yeah he is. They...Jess and Snap said that because they were making fun of me.” 

Finn’s eyes widened. “Oh, Poe I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to- I didn’t know.” He took a step forward but Poe got a little carried away in his frustration. 

“Of course they’re not really wrong, which is why they think it’s so funny.” He wasn’t looking at Finn anymore, but rather gazed manically into the middle distance. “For the record, I’ve given as good as I’ve gotten! Of course they didn’t feel that was worth mentioning, the piles of gungan shit.” Poe tore at his hair and Finn studied him with concern.

[calm down ass slut] Poe spun around angrily.

“You SHUT UP!” BB-8 just resumed his binary laughter. Poe turned back and plopped down onto an empty fuel tank before fixing Finn with a dejected look. “I am an ass slut.” 

Finn knelt beside him and ran a comforting hand over his shoulder. “No you’re not Poe. You’re not an ass slut. If I had known that was an insult, I’d have told them off.”

“No Finn. They’re right.” Poe sighed “I mean not as much as I used to be. But.” 

Finn gave him a pitying smile and continued to rub little circles over his back. Poe propped his face in his hands and tried to stomach down the absurdity and humiliation of this moment. 

“Um. Poe?”

“Mmm?”

“You still haven’t...that is. I still don’t know what it means.” Finn paused in his massaging and Poe’s fingers curled over his mouth as he stared between his feet.

“Oh. Right.” Poe wished that Black One would spontaneously combust and blast him and this excruciatingly awkward conversation to smithereens. “It means...someone who likes to take it up the ass.”

Finn sat back on his heels. “Take what?”

Poe screamed internally and returned his hands to his mouth. “Cck” he mumbled from behind them.

“Sorry, what?” Finn leaned in.

“Cock!!” Poe uncovered his mouth and yelled much louder than he had intended. He tensed and looked around the unfortunately not empty hangar. The various occupants scattered about had frozen in their tracks and were staring fish eyed at Poe and Finn. “YEAH I SAID COCK.” Poe growled over his shoulder. That seemed to placate them, or at least confirm their suspicions that Poe Dameron was losing his nut. Or requesting to bust one. He turned back to Finn who was sitting on the floor and staring intently at his knees. “You understand what I mean right?”

“Yeah I understand.” Finn continued studying his knees. 

“Right.” Poe scrunched up his face for a brief moment before slapping his thighs and standing. “Well now that that’s all cleared up let’s get to washing this old girl.” He walked back over to his work station and grabbed two clean rags and a bucket of soapy water. 

Finn joined him shortly and he seemed to have finished processing the information about where Poe likes cock to be and was back to his chipper self. He happily accepted a rag and set to work cleaning and polishing Black One until she glittered. 

Usually, Poe would sing or at least hum while he worked but he was still feeling particularly wired and hyper aware of Finn’s presence. Finn had said he understood the situation wherein a cock would go up an ass but as to his opinions on that activity, Poe was in the dark. Poe spent so much time guessing at Finn’s thought process and theorizing about whether or not and in what capacity cock-in-ass activities took place within the first order, that he didn’t notice he’d been polishing the same 5 inch radius of his X-wing for the past 8 minutes. 

“So, that’s something you’ve done a lot then?” Finn spoke and wrenched Poe from his vulgar rumination. 

“Uh...well, it’s been, a bit.” It’s been exactly about since he first met Finn on the Finalizer but details details. “But, I suppose I have experience in that area yes.” 

[Master Poe is an expert in this particular field.] 

Poe blushed. “Well I don’t know if I would go that far BB-8” Finn raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask for a translation. He dipped his rag in the bucket of water at Poe’s feet and returned to his cleaning. 

Again the two of them worked in silence and Poe twitched and fidgeted with unease. He was sweating, why was he so sweaty? He dabbed his forehead with the rag and had to spend the next few minutes trying to blink soap out of his eye without Finn noticing. His eye was red and watering and his nose began to tingle and run. 

“Would you want  _ my _ cock in your ass?” 

Poe spun around at lighting speed. He threw out his right arm to lean against the side of his X-Wing, a desperate attempt to maintain some suave dignity despite his puffy eyeball. His right hand also happened to be holding the very damp, soapy rag. It slipped off the polished metal and sent Poe tumbling forward, stepping into the bucket of water. Poe watched Finn’s expression in slow motion, confusion shifted to concern, which became surprise and finally he broke into a fit of laughter as Poe toppled over onto the ground. Finn rushed over to him.

“You’re really a mess today, Dameron.” 

Poe fixed him with a lopsided grin. “I promise I’ll have better coordination in bed.” Finn bit his lip and leaned in closer. 

“I believe you. But I think I’d better take over if I want to get you there in one piece.” As casually as if he were lifting a barrel of muja fruit, Finn hoisted Poe into his arms. 

“My hero.” Poe grinned at the young man carrying him across the hangar with ease. 

[Are you two just leaving me here?!] BB-8 squealed, but they payed him no attention.

About halfway out of the room Poe had a thought. “For the record, your cock is the only one I want to be a slut for now.” He probably should have thought of a prettier way to say that, but he had gotten this far with sticking to the blunt basics. 

Finn bared his sparkling white teeth. “I’m glad to hear that.” Poe’s heart did a somersault and he snuggled in closer to Finn’s warm chest. They passed Jess and Snap as they were all crossing the main hangar door. 

“Uh. Wher’re you two headed?” Jess inquired apprehensively. 

“I’m taking my Ass Slut to bed!” Finn announced proudly. 

Jess slapped a hand over her mouth and Snap looked like he may cry. Finn however did not wait for a reply and continued walking. Poe leaned over Finn’s meaty shoulder, and treated his friends to a farewell wave followed by one finger. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you laughed. Thanks folks.


End file.
